just being xuey-liciously me

the waits of life.

2010-11-06T02:30:00.000-07:00

she stares, she sits, she waits

but what for?

she stares, she sits, she waits

even though it's such a bore

she stares, she sits, she waits

doing the best that she can do

she stares, she sits, she waits....

waiting for the one that's true....

but what if one day; she doesn't want to stare, sit and wait

anymore....

stranger no more.

2010-10-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

i think i have just met the most selfless person in the world

who touched my heart and brought me to tears

i think, no i mean to say..

you are just simply amazing.

obsessed.to.the.beats.

2010-10-17T04:11:00.000-07:00

beat by beat, track by track. i dance for you. tydi.

come away with me now

2010-10-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

@acontinuouslean

in her eyes.

2010-09-22T04:52:00.001-07:00

@misstemple

so soft but yet gentle,
oh speak softly to me once again my love

verb.

2010-09-19T03:50:00.000-07:00

ges·ture (jĕs'chər)

A motion of the limbs or body made to express or help express thought or to emphasize speech.
The act of moving the limbs or body as an expression of thought or emphasis.
An act or a remark made as a formality or as a sign of intention or attitude

a gesture of love

an act or a remark made as a sign out of love for a love one;

despite whether you are for it or not.

even if it's against one's will.

because when in love,

there should be more giving than taking.

love is a lesson, never stop learning.

true.blood.the.australian.craze.

2010-08-24T17:55:00.000-07:00

a.e.r.o. planes

2010-07-19T23:14:00.001-07:00

can we pretend that airplanes

in the night sky

are like shooting stars

why.

2010-05-21T04:58:00.000-07:00

~*~

Why do you do this to me?

Why do you do this so easily?

You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

~*~

where it all stays...

2010-05-12T03:27:00.000-07:00

heavy-heartedly

to the shower.

where nobody

can see these tears

being shed.

just three more days now

lady Gaga : monster

2010-04-29T07:03:00.001-07:00

"he ate my heart, that boy is a monster"

untitled you.

2010-04-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

Hope is a Demon Bitch ♥ now let's get this party called Life started.

the awaiting..

2010-04-05T05:44:00.000-07:00

the closest thing i have of you which i can wear on proud.

i'm ready to cut you into the style i want to shirt,

oh where are you my "God Save the Villain" shirt..

if only it came with the guy as well

*teehee*

why do humans have to feel so much.

2010-03-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

from the eye.

to the heart.

what i see.

only hurts me.

i don't know how you can still smile with it all,

i still can't yet.

tiny and easy to let go off.

big on the burden of my heart.

damn.....

2010-03-16T17:07:00.000-07:00

@forgivedreamers

when life brings you DOWN, dress UP!!!

disarranged

2010-03-15T06:52:00.000-07:00

i am here.

here i am.

i belong on the dancefloor.

on the dancefloor is where i belong from now on.

the dancefloor won't trip me over like you did,

because this time

only i can trip myself over.

but i'm here now

engulfed in my papers, pens and notes

no.

this is not where i belong.

on the dancefloor is where i belong.

backstreet's back, alright?

2010-03-13T02:36:00.000-08:00

it's funny to say that i actually attended Backstreet Boys' (BSB) Australian world tour at Brisbane's Entertainment Center the other day, and the best part is that i actually enjoyed myself. half-way through the concert, a familiar feeling gushed throughout me. to have felt like how it was when i was primary schooler and was a die-hard-fan of boy bands like BSB, N'SYNC and 911, it really was nostalgic. what fun were the days when we were all naive, only having to worry about not overspending our lunch money and how we would wear our hair to school as we tugged uncomfortably on our prickly school uniforms. gone now are the day when we didn't have to worry about things like life accomplishments, money, the future and LOVE.

a friend was complaining to me today before lectures on how another friend of mine was obsessed with the hawt-bodied infamous multi-talented performer Rain. she was saying that my Rain-obsessed friend had to come out from her "bubble" and come back to reality of real life and that i shouldn't encourage her to stay in that bubble of hers.

but somehow i very much beg to differ and it's probably due to the position that i am in today, which makes me think so. i think that there's no wrong in actually having someone you can actually look up to, it keeps you busy and it fills up your spare time. sure the person is a famous artist and the chances of you actually meeting him/her is close to zero, but so what?! there really is no harm it in. and the fact that you readily know that you may never get to come into contact with them is a healthy one i guess. you wouldn't have to worry about your Superstar hurting

you and you wouldn't worry about them if their fame runs out.

so yea, escaping reality every now and again is what keeps us alive.

that's at least how i see it i guess, i don't really know.

so yea i'm searching for my very own Rain now,

i need this distraction very much.

*thinks to self*

Nick Carter seemed pretty hawt when he removed his shirt that night at the concert,

fyi i've always liked Nick or Bryan from BSB

*giggles*

Imagination disposes of everything; it creates beauty, justice, and happiness, which are everything in this world.

walk with me in deep blue waters

2010-03-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

i need yet another escapade.

find yourself - tydi

2010-03-06T04:24:00.000-08:00

hey you, you messed up my dress

i need a new dress now

but it was interesting wasnt it?

i just...

2010-03-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

guess i'd rather feel hurt than nothing at all

somehow.

2010-03-01T19:20:00.000-08:00

it has broken me down to realize that my life has come to a stage where no matter how endlessly much i love you, it would still not be enough for you to have me back. i just can't seem to imagine my life starting without you and i don't know what to do anymore because all i think about is you and you alone. you pushed me on with your words of encouragement and now i don't know how to be without you. where do i go from here?

could you not have found a way to love me somehow?

could you not have given us another kick on the butt?

did i mean that little to you

because i just feel so broken now.

i am not afraid of being alone

i am just afraid of never being able to be with you again

662.

2010-02-27T15:18:00.000-08:00

what is Starting Over, if starting over is without you

err.

2010-02-23T05:53:00.000-08:00

to err is human.

to love is wonderful.

but to have loved

like it was forever,

immortality reigns.

***

always.

i feel.. no wait, i can't feel anymore.

2010-02-22T14:14:00.000-08:00

i would have never thought that this day would ever come.

the day i cried to Mika's Happy Ending

the whole way thru the 9 times it played.

i don't know to feel anymore

because i don't want to be without you.

and this is me, without you

hopenhagen.

2010-02-21T13:28:00.001-08:00

while i still do..

2010-02-19T04:56:00.000-08:00

i still feel dizzy when the thought of you passes my mind

i still get my tummy all squirmy when i'm reminded of you

i still lose my appetite when all i can think of is you

i still tear when i think of how faraway you are from me

i still hurt here in my heart when i know i can't have you now

i still miss you most especially when i think of your gentle touch

but for all the wrong reasons

because you're done with me now

crux ansata

2010-02-15T15:06:00.000-08:00

the warm summer wind blew strongly as Thea's black hair started to veil her face.

afraid to look into the world where beauty once surrounded her,

she hung her head low letting her tears fall to her lap.

Thea wanted to stay there forever over looking the horizon with the sand in between her toes.

her arms were now crossed in front of her because only they made her feel secure now.

tightly she held her state wanting to squeeze every last thought she had in mind;

but the devil just won't make her forget.

enough already xu, enough now

really?

2010-02-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

year 2006

year 2007

was going through some old photos the other day and really, did i really have a heart for all things Dutch even before i met you?

i guess...

once you go Dutch, you never go back.

year 2008

fuck, i miss you

1.53 minute: that's what i miss and want

2010-02-14T04:34:00.000-08:00

Remember turning on the night

And moving through the morning light

Remember how it was with you

Remember how you pulled me through

I remember (x8)

Add to the memory you keep

Remember when you fall asleep

Hold to the love that you know

You don't have to give up to let go

-as heard on Priceline radio-

how can i not think of one when music never escapes my ears...

misty eyed

2010-02-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

She stood at the edge of the solid cold bridge now as tears ran down her summer-filled face; or rather what was left of her youthful bronze tan after so many continuous days of nothing but sorrow. Grasping on tightly to the spiderweb-like metal twines networking the bridge, her small dainty hands started to bleed. Still, the pain in her hands did not feel as raw as how the deep cut in her heart felt. Truly nobody has ever felt real pain, unless they have fallen in love.

there was a time

2010-02-09T15:50:00.001-08:00

i was looking through my post for Freedom 2008 where i came across me saying:

[[ all in all, it was a helluva good 2 days. one of the very best in my life for sure (despite the fact that i missed 3 hours of ferry) but still, i got there in one piece and came home in one piece with my ear drums pumping for the next 3 days and i fell sick: sorethroat and love sick ]]

trance gives you, the freedom of living by capturing your soul

i remember how it was picking up the courage to actually call you because i knew that you wanted to be there as well, and the best i could do was satisfy your ears despite how bad the static was with the line. from then onwards every time i trance, i trance with you in my heart.

to have accepted trance in my life with you embracing it, trance is more than just music to me and it will always be that way. at Freedom i mentioned about trance giving me the freedom of living by capturing my soul. but now i realise that i was wrong...

it was you who captured my soul.

a life without love, is a life with no hope.

2010-02-09T04:31:00.000-08:00

i love.

i lost.

maybe it's because I have not loved this much before, which is why it hurts so badly

2010-02-07T01:19:00.000-08:00

is it alright to still feel this hurt?

is it alright to still find it so hard to breathe?

is it alright that i still want to feel the softness of your orange shirt upon my cheek?

is it alright if i were to ask you to hold me once more?

is it alright if i were to get you to smile at me another time?

is it alright,

that i still think of you.

along with my heart

2010-02-01T13:54:00.000-08:00

along with my heart

you took away

those rainbow filled cloudless days

along with my heart

you took away

everything and all that i could even say

along with my heart

you took away

the place in your heart where i could once stay

your love for me was always so pure

when having you there was the only cure

filling up the emptiness and my needs

as well as to fulfill my little devilish deeds

despite the fact that you were away

you were strong for us and said "Come what may"

the laughter and joy that love could bring

never failed to leave my cheeks rose-petal pink

you sure do mean everything and all to me

as i was the happiest girl that i could ever be

especially when you took me into your arms to say

that nothing can ever change our loving way

but it was all then taken away

along with my heart

which you took away

i have been dismissed.

2010-01-28T15:54:00.001-08:00

no, i am just not ready to share my feelings yet

the missed: a December 2009 post (finally we are there)

2010-01-28T01:36:00.000-08:00

alas the roomie graduates =) and leaves me for home =(

andy who finally graduates after his complication, fewence and the bkb captain Jon

thanks Euric for the lovely Lovely

thanks Su-ann and Henri

the one which came the earliest

my everything and all for Only Me, thanks Big

the missed: a September-October 2009 post

2010-01-28T01:15:00.000-08:00

all hell broke lose when the new housemate moved in *cheers*

tiesto:set! assignment folder: set! sleep: NONE

candy heavan

minties ~ *yums*

will all gracefulness, the roommate =)

the first layer of Fredo love

because colours make my day and so do you

you can never have too many colours in a present!

second shirt also with the love bean on and the bday card

yeap there can never be too many colours and stars in a present

it was a finger-painful-numb process but hey, it made Big happy =)

so that made me happy too

the missed: a July-August 2009 post

2010-01-24T05:10:00.000-08:00

alas. the one thing everyone looks forward to after studying their brains out: Graduation.

hope you had a good one Lynnie! everytime i use your red bowl, it reminds me of you.

because i am that cool, and so is my Dell

when bored of study, photograph.

what's studying without brain food !!!

there is always a silver-lining after every rain

yea i heart my ex-homies

the missed: an April-June 2009 post

2010-01-24T04:52:00.000-08:00

the fun things we got ourselves into...

BEFORE THE HEADACHE OF THE EXAMINATIONS!!!!! *grins*

the missed: a March 2009 post

2010-01-24T04:41:00.000-08:00

it was a time of new beginnings, new friendships and the familiar smell of lecture notes.

BUT this time, with much much much more comfier seats

that's for sure!!!

i give you the University of Queensland

*points to self*

and one of the many nerds who's just ready to do what else than NERD.

the missed: a February 2009 post

2010-01-16T04:28:00.000-08:00

well, the true meaning of independence finally smacked me in the face first when i had to settle my own airplane tickets, it surely was an experience checking ever-so often for flights (you see how i didn't even say "cheap" flight). searching for flights at that time was hard enough already, let alone to get a cheap one that would've been impossible i tell you! but yea i had to get my spirits up despite having to deal with missing the beau tons and getting accustom to the fact that he's a whole timezone away from me, for many many things had to be done. there were clothes to buy, people to catch up with as well as spend lots of quality time with the family. there was a mess when in search for a place to stay; aside having to move away from the family at least i was bringing two other nut-cases along with me. all hail the righteous Christianne Tham and the-not-so-sane-minded Thor Su-Ann, hence all was good though we never quite came at the same time and in the end not stay at the same place, i say that we all turned out pretty damn good *so two thumbs us for us please*

so i'm leaving on a jet plane don't know when i will be back again

on the 16th of February i left Malaysia with a heavy heart. Malaysia i felt and still feel was the only sense of connection i had left of the beau, probably because he was ever so Malaysian as compared to me. hence it felt like i left my heart in Kuala Lumpur (as oppose to having it left in San Fransisco) and plus i can't lie if i said that i didn't miss my rascal naive-young-hearted sisters and my parents.. what will they ever do without me? who's gonna dry the clothes and boiled ABC soup when you guys are busy? or buy back yummy pasar malam food on tuesday nights? *sobs* mummy daddy i miss you with all my heart despite the long 20 years of lectures which i now receive only from my lecturers and i don't love them like how i do to you two...

arriving on the 17th of February with Miss Thor and Wormie, we slept in my uncle's car sleeping the sleep we deserve after a long tiresome horrid but still appreciably cheap flight. after resting and nursed by my aunt we headed then to Sunnybanks which would be the place to be, well if you're Asian *lols* but hey it is i tell you!!! so yea we bunked in for 2 weeks at my cousin's place while he was back in Malaysia as we took over him room in a house which he shared with a naive kind souled Eva and Kobe who were for Macau, BUT everything was all good UNTIL the slut-face of a Kobe's girlfriend (now EX mind you) named Nelly who truly showed how much she didn't like us being there without shame. thankfully Miss Thor and i finally got to move away from Slut-zilla into your nice little cosy place at St Lucia which is just 5 minutes-walk away from the campus thanks to her friend Buford. alas one of the first friends i made in Brisbane who were from Malaysia, Jaclyn my housemate and Andy who's room we were gonna sleep at which was officially his to begin with =)

the missed: a January 2009 post

2010-01-14T17:13:00.000-08:00

i dont even know where really to start actually. alas the consequences of not blogging and wanting to blog now; but at the same time not wanting to lose out the important bits of the past year.

in January as my babysitting days started to end, i had to prepare myself to leave the nest: or rather what every one of us calls it, home. yea sure i never really got what i really wanted to do, but hey that's life as we don't get what we always want. so with a new love and a new application all finally sorted out, Bachelor of Pharmacy it is and at the University of Queensland it would be. and i had to wake up every morning thinking to myself "embrace it Xu, embrace it. 4 years of pharmacy will pass by in a flash" *curses, yerr right* but still i couldn't run away now, as what my father would say "you have to think of doing something which will be profitable for you in the future, i can't have you running around next time working as a public school counselor or someone who works in a food factory". as much as i would like to say to myself that dad's being a little dense here about the outcomes of taking Psychology or Nutrition and Dietetics, i would have to maturely admit that he was probably thinking of the worse of what could happen. hence, i guess i can't blame him for doing so. with the amount of money which has to be paid by international school kids to study, it sure is a huge lump-sum of paper currency being invested here on one person.

then came the dark days of when friendship and relationships come to a clash bringing out very much the worse in people. yea things were pretty much ugly and all, but with time i guess acceptance is after all acceptance with very much of giving in as well as pocket fulls of understanding. i sure gotta admit still that i was half-hearted having to give up those times with the beau just to work things out and i very much wonder up till today whether it was worth it because now i find myself thinking that i really could've had more time spent with the beau. still the beau agreed that i should fix things and all to what ever queenly needs which had to be taken care of... see why the beau's worth it all? *grins* but yea i'll just take for granted and yea i did take for granted that you would've understood that i have only managed to be with the beau face-to-face for only 10 months, who knows when the next time will ever come. as compared to yours. but wells, shit happens to make us learn. so i still bid you farewell with all the sincerity of my heart *a toast to all the good times*

lastly of course, having to let go of the beau himself who had to head to the Alps to finish off his degree. we could've had much more time to ourselves boyfriend, but thanks for being the man you are anyways. i guess that of course makes us treasure our memories much more yea? and of course to look towards a better brighter future where it would finally be just the two of us together. things like buying fried ice-cream from SS2's night market; chocolate-chip for you and raspberry ripple for me. the fun of having meals despite it being the most luxurious like Japanese at Rakuzen or the most humble for instance the search for the ultimate "char siew" barbecue pork; just having you there makes everything extra special. then there were late night hangouts (still all before my curfew, mind you) and heart to hearts which i very much enjoy. for each and every day that i strive and plunder through without you, they bring me forward to being with you again soon enough. to re-live moments at Tunes once again *hearts*

thats all for January 2009.

the many things

2009-10-01T06:49:00.001-07:00

the alter ego

2009-01-05T05:11:00.000-08:00

get out of my head you mofos

my life my choices damnit

first ruin my field of studies, then demolish my choice of university, eff-ing twice. now accomodation.

put yourself in my fucking dancing shoes and see how it mighty feels to NOT make your own choices in life.

you take me for granted

changing my state of mind every eff-ing time i have adapted to the choices that you have made for me.

eat this, screw you mofos

..!.,

xu currently feels like shit, dont judge me unless you know what i am going thru.

onze zevende maand

2008-12-14T09:32:00.000-08:00

" i was thinking the world is so big, and there are so many people. just in one day, one moment you could see someone and never see them for the rest of your life."

"but if you're lucky, you'll see them again right?"

"then we must be pretty lucky."

eppy 7th month anni thingy

tweenie me [kuan and shoutouts]

2008-12-14T03:22:00.001-08:00

thanks for the gift kuan =] i will continue on with my dreams, thanks

to those of you who were so thoughtful to wish me or thought of wishing me, thank you so much, you guys are awesome and im glad to have you in my life. be it phone calls, or sms-es or even msgs on facebook or friendster, it is all very much appreciated, thank you =]

tweenie me [bao clan + 3 new friends]

2008-12-14T02:13:00.000-08:00

poppy rocks my socks

poison for the night

the babes: mos, xu, may yee

the gang, awesome bunch of people i tell you!!!
jason, kean, esmond, tok, mos, xu, may yee

poser perfect: xu, esmond, may yee

the rocka brothers

the bao clan: take one!

the bao clan: take two!!!

picture perfecto: what's with the sign diiiii ?!

the drunkettes!!!!!!!

smileys for you =]

*SQUISHY*

kean, mos, jason, xu

best picture for the night, kean's face is so funny here and mos is happily drunk

tweenie me [ohana means family]

2008-12-14T01:24:00.000-08:00

the new addition to the family !!!

sisterly lurve

mummy!

MAN, WE NEED A CAMERA FOR THE FAMILY WITH TIMER, MY HP's NOT GOOD ENOUGH

dad!!!

credits go to my mum and sisters, awesome cuppy cakes

*HUGS*

tweenie me [bb4Ls - 1 + beee's boy]

2008-12-14T01:11:00.000-08:00

thanks su-ann for the pretty thingy-ma-jiggies

thanks beee and beee's boy, jessel

beee and beee's boy: cover up

the xu and su

choco berries *yummers*

tweenie me [with the other halfa]

2008-12-13T23:23:00.000-08:00

it's all about me, on my day!

the only guy i know who drinks milk when out TWICE on the same day, little BOY !!!

aphrodisiac much? *hearts*

chocolate indulgence + white choc macadamia

pretty f*cked

2008-11-21T01:27:00.000-08:00

to have the two people who mean so much to you

and have them on each arm,

this lingering feeling which i have been bloodthirsty for

wasnt meant to have a happy ending

leaving me in the midst of numbness

BUT

what is lost can still be found

you taught me that through what i have been seeing.

i cant say that it will be the same

but it will very well eff-ing do

as it is all i have now

and i cant eff-ing wait

freedom elite

its going to be another night to remember once again

forget all your troubles and your worries

regain freedom once again

zesde maand

2008-11-14T08:56:00.000-08:00

life's a bitch, but we'll work through it thick and thin

big hand in small hand

together

cotton candylicious anne

2008-11-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

photo taG ! d[-_-]b

2008-10-29T02:05:00.000-07:00

1. the age you'll be on your next birthday

2. a place you'd like to travel to

3. your favourite place

where ever my heart is.

4. your favourite food

avery's ice cream *giggles*

5. your favourite pet

and like all pets, this pet which i purchased from facebook must be feed regularly with love and bullied *cough*

i mean, played with with love as well ;p

6. your favourite colour combination

colours of the ocean: green, aquamarine, turquoise, blue...

7. your favourite piece of clothing

8. your all time favourite song

9. your favourie telly show

gossip girl !

10. first names of your holloywood eye candies

penn, ed and chace

11. the town of which you live in

bandar utama

12. your screen nickname

XU!

13. your first job

14. your dream job

15. a bad habit of yours

16. your worst fear

twenty heartfelts for a 20-year-old

2008-10-27T00:16:00.000-07:00

Tagged by the very happeningly scandalous leeniepoo

Remove one question from below and add in your own personal question. Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. What is your ambition?
A professional psychedelic drug distributor by day and a freelance dancer by night

2. How often do you think of committing suicide?
In the past, kinda often; but now in the present, I’ve slowly learnt to accept the fact that shit happens and things never really go the way you want them to. You’re talking to the girl here whose dad never let her become a nutritionist but wanted her to become a pharmacist though she has never aspired to be stuck behind a medicinal counter for life. In the end, he even chooses her place of study though she has begged to defer. Shit happens, deal with it.

3. Do you think you have enough confidence?
I think I do, but to survive successfully in this dog-eat-dog world, i am current still doubting myself.

4. How many babies do you want?
If it’s financial wise for me to do so, i’d say 3 or 4.

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Literally? Yes. Figuratively? Yes as well.

6. What’s your goal next year?
To figure out my goal for the year after the next...
Baahh, narh!!!

To academically succeed and financially support myself to be with the ones I love.

7. Do you believe in eternal love?
Yes, it’s all about giving it a chance and believing.

8. What’s a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to you? (List 10)
Someone who accepts me for who I am; be it on my stormy nights or when i’m as happy as a gypsy. Someone who is understandingly rational. Someone who knows the right thing to say to make me laugh and light up my darkest of days. Someone who loves me and loves me even more for my many faults. Someone who calls me names like “jakun” or “klutz” (although i know that i am one but i stubbornly refuse to admit it) and makes it sound like one of the best things that i've ever heard of myself. Someone who lets me bully them childlish-ly and they not minding it at all. A family man who adores kids as much as I do. A man who still wants to think of himself as a boy but still manages to switch back to the man that he really is. Someone who knows what he is doing in life and is dedicated in his work but still manages to find time for me. Lastly, avery’s the most final best answer I can give to you *grins*

9. What feeling do you love most?
Waking up and watching the person you love most sleeping right beside you.

10. What is your bad habit?
Forgetfulness.

11. Is there anything you wanna tell the people who hate you?
*puts hands on hips*snaps* shaaaa-boooo-YA!

12. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
If I considered it a friendship to start of with, then yes.

13. What does flying mean to you?
Peter Pan and finding Neverland. Nevertheless, i say and quote freedom (leeniepoo,2008).

14. What do you currently crave for the most?
A burst of creativity alongside a bowl of kimchi instant noodles *teeehee*

15. Define sexy?
Sweatyly tranced body moving beats at a never-ending rave with the world’s most famous Dutch DJs doing what they do best while the sun rises at the horizon when people of the world unite.

16. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
Leeeeniepoo is “ a bona fide photogenic piece of uber sexyness”

17. What have you done to yourself to make yourself happy?
Learning to love again =]

18. What will you become in 10 years?
Hopefully, successful and united with my other half and seeing that there’s anything left of my youth which I have not done which needs to be done immediately.

19. What is your lucky number?
Se7en.

20. Are you adventurous enough to give trance music a listen?
Been there, done it, and still enjoying it. Give trance a chance.

I tag: the 8 lucky ppl whom I’ve selected firsthand via your chatbox, you know how you are *evil cackle*

food for thought

2008-10-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

what if things are never what you think they seem?

what if it is only you who thinks that you are feeling this way?

what if the regrets come flowing in?

what if you hinder the thoughts of care given?

what if you can't even see them through their disguise anymore?

what if all you had to do was just open up a little bit more?

i guess it may not seem much to you, so go on pick up that cup and drink me in again like you always do

everyone has their own monstie ;]

2008-10-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

everyone, meet monstie
who's definitely bringing SEEEEXAAY BAAACK!
and lovin' every moment of it
what ever you do...
he is always listening and grinning his ass awaaay..
everywhere!!!
where ever you go!!!!
hiding sneakily
in disguise as well
even in your bed
or the shower *ekkkkkks* lurking.....
following your every step
he may also help keep an eye for your friends ;p
basically he is everywere =]

all you gotta do is use your imagination
you're never too old, to stop playing

mooncake light wonders

2008-09-16T07:51:00.000-07:00

picture of the day ;p

here's the funny scoop

lantern catches fire, mystically burns in to flames and falls to the ground like hellsent. su-ann squeals and jumps from her chair. eling attempts to put the fire out from blowing it *hmmm* xu walks over grabs the hose and saves the day

conclusion? eling is too hot, don't put her near any fire, chaos ensured *giggles*

memoirs of mooncake festival 08'

derde maand

2008-08-15T01:08:00.000-07:00

love is child's play

in search of sunrise, sabah

2008-08-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

sabah: negeri dibawah bayu

an australian, a korean, a thai and a native

9 days 8 nights

now everyone can fly *right... that is if you have money to spend*

crikey! it's a pointer!

the first morning: stained glass view

taaaaaa----

DAAAAH!!!!!

kick the xuuuu...

the bf's fav picture: budak kampung take one!!!

budak kampung take two!!!

lovers in paradise

budak kampung take three!!
budak kampung take four!!! *i'll never get bored of this* LawL
all smiles =)
the best host and hostess anyone could ever wish for, thanks sooo incredibly much

connected thru music: double audio jack *hearts*

peeeeekaaaaa-----
BOOOO! ciaaaak ;p
sunset ala warisan merdeka shopping complex
priceless moments which can never be bought again. the culture, the food and the company. that is all it takes to have the perfect holiday; though we didnt get to catch our sabah sunrise ;p

lecciones para el futuro

2008-08-13T04:50:00.000-07:00

This was a video made for the friends of WongFu Productions, Eddie and Sarah who recently got married this summer! They have a great story to tell. Eddie lived in LA, Sarah lived in Taipei. For 5 years they had to deal with this distance in their relationship, always having to fly back and forth. Finally, the two are Together At Last.

i have proudly suscribed to them, now it's your turn

WongFu Productions

endorphine 2.21

2008-07-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

how can the simple evolve to being out of hand?
how can it just all be pretend?
like summer and its lease of beauty,
insecurity tends to prevail.
why do we have to feel?
why do we have to love?
why do we hurt?
it is because,
we are only human;
being brought on by pain,
under influences of endorphines.

i was once told based on a korean proverb that it only takes a few words to warm one winters day, but little did i know it also only takes a few words to dampen your soul and wish that you never did ask the things you did as they might just have the capabilities to change who you are. yes suzannie i cant believe im saying this but like i told you, love blinds us all and takes us to mysterious places, places which you never want to crosspath.

why do we humans have to hurt?
we just want to be loved.

gnite. why aren't things never what they seem to be?

twisted turn of fate

2008-07-04T19:02:00.001-07:00

OST: Meet the Robinsonsa movie worth catching.honestly.teaches one bout the lessons of lifeand how one little step can change your future

quote unquote

2008-06-29T03:06:00.000-07:00

" Here...I wanna marry you because you're the first person that I wanna look at when i wake up in the morning and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight, because...the first time that i saw these hands i couldn't imagine not being able to hold them but mainly when you love someone as much as i love you [pause] getting married is the only thing left to do, so... will you... hum... [pause] marry me? " Will Hayes

" With any luck, by next year I'll be going out with one of these girls. [shows pictures of beautiful supermodels] But for now, let me say without hope or agenda, just because it's Christmas and at Christmas you tell the truth: to me, you are perfect and my wasted heart will love you until you look like this [picture of a mummy] Merry Christmas. " Mark

time waits for no man, but everything takes time

2008-06-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

"the universe tends to unfold as it should"

harold and kumar go to white castle

i'd have to agree with harold on that quote as nothing is ever what it may seem and things take time to unfold into their true colours: whether it may be about a person or a situation. time truly is gold, time is everything. all you gotta do is just spare yourself some time to think things through with your heart and of course a lil comon sense, without thoughts of denial or doubt.

ever since i came back from freedom 08 in portdickson, most of the time i spent with the family were as shitty as hell. sisters with their usual exagerated curious doings and imagine having both your parents going thru life's wondrous process of aging. they aint old or anything, but im sure you are familiar with the term mid-life crisis as well as pre-menopausal syndrome. so yea... lung screaming, head aching, mind boggling hormonal changes... hence they need time (hell a lot of time) to accept my true intentions and forgive me for the mistakes i make.

so to those of you out there who might just be going through what i am going through. patience is a virtue, hang in there and your kind deeds will be appreciated in time to come.

well, shit happens i guess *shrugs*

it is after all life, deal with it.

life's like a rainbow; just be willing to put up with a little rain

p.s. i had to quit the waitressing job the very next day of my employment as dadsie changed his mind. so now, thou art paying for my shopping stuff and i can never show my face at RIBS. thank you dadsie. like i said, shit happens people, and so you thought YOU had it bad *think again*

the long waited post, im "like" more than a month late

2008-06-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

yea peeps, the Freedom 08 post !!!

before you venture into my world of blinding pictures and head-banding videos, there are a few things i would first like to mention. NEVER in the world EVER go for raves with ppl you do not know well (mos if u are reading this, this doesnt include u because u got me there and we stuck thru the whole nightmare/dream together). NEVER also go with those who do not have the SAME PASSION as you for THE MUSIC, here i am refering to the type of ppl who want to attend the event just to be seen to look cool and drink and drink and eff-ing DRINK till the only thing you gotta listen thru the whole night is you flushing your vomit down the toilet bowl. NEVER as well go with those who's main point of going is to overly hook up with ppl

((and to you, you mofo b*atch if you want a guy's number, u go get it yourself next time and dont get pissed off with me if he wanted my number instead of yours ayt? bludeeh spoilt rich kid. my flipping gaaawd! and i also missed 3 hours of my ferry corsten, and i will never in my life ever EVER EEVEEERR forgive you as well. you, your tummy and your disfigured body better go get a life or just rot in hell with you fugly boho skirt))

--- free your soul, give in to the music ---

.ferry corsten.

.tiesto.

.cosmic gate.

.vinn.

trance gives you, the freedom of living by capturing your soul

the part-timer

2008-06-11T01:50:00.001-07:00

now, how may i be of your assistance?

*smirks*

$$$$$$$$$$$$

the remedy

2008-06-10T01:09:00.000-07:00

SHOPPIIIIIIIIINGGGGGG!!!

to those of you who may not have known how much i have changed throughout the years, i know you are now starring at my page with your mouths wide open. i'm a grown girl already ok?! *grown girl, hmmm the irony*

the girl needs $$$

this or that?!

2008-05-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

being the nutritionist/dietitian?

or the pharmacist?

sometimes the choices in life which one has to make are limitless. it is simply just what you make and think of it. so why make things so complicating u may ask?! i am brought up this way, that's why.

i learn from the past,
hypothesize my present,
and i look beyond into the future.
AND the whole cycle pretty much repeats again.

too many barriers to strive through, too many seas to swim across and too many things to be taken into consideration as this does not only affect MY future but others financially and emotionally. sometimes i just wish that "The Person Up There" would just let me take a quick glance into the Book of Life for me to ensure myself that i am doing the correct thing and taking the right path.

then.

2008-05-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

i found this a couple of days back in my previous files.

may it enlighten you and bring me back to writing which i once loved.

Changes are for the best, no?
Maybe not always, yes?

Metamorphosis.
Turning into a new leaf.
Of new beginnings and starting over.
And believing that tomorrow will be a better day.
Is it really about having faith in the changes that surround us?
Which we all do listen and speak of.

So is it just me?
That’s feeling this way.
Or is it actually you?
Because things just seem to make more sense.
When you were around.

Now all you do is brush pass me.
Only to speak the words of nothingness.
Leaving me clueless.
Of what everything was about.
Then.

OBGG!!!

2008-05-21T04:41:00.001-07:00

he asks how to level up?

*giggles*

post for freedom will be up till i get them photos!!!

2008 15th of may 0108 hours

2008-05-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

lovecomesagain

as quoted from dj Tiesto

helluva good time

2008-05-13T01:34:00.000-07:00

post for Freedom Fest will be up by friday

8 more days till FREEDOM baybeee !!!

2008-05-01T00:31:00.000-07:00

sadly freedom doesn't come free.

it costs you RM128

(that is if you are a FREEDOM member)

but it is all gonna be worth it !!!

no silly, im talking bout FREEDOM Fest, PD

the place TO BE on the 9th of may 2008

its gonna be a night of pure bliss

featuring tiesto, ferry corsten, cosmic gates, dj tang, vinn, stephen day annnd dj rattle

for more info please visit the man himself, community blogger jerry ong

who helped me get all the details i needed

Axcess outlets need better marketing strategies,

their advert plans are not circulating enough!!

got my ticket!!! got yours yet?!!!

of starlit skies and cicada eggs

2008-03-25T05:27:00.000-07:00

happy belated

bday post

for

my dah-ling

BEEEeeee

the day started out with continuous shopping at curve for a suitable white jacket to match the new top which she had jz bought previously. after much thought, she finally settled for one at MNG. believe it or not, 3/4 of the whole day jz passed like that! then as planned she had a bday dinner with her boi and her mum. and as planned as well, avery and i met up at 1u to get her cake. mind you, no chocolate cake and certainly not any cake from secret recipe for this dah-ling queenie! so we finally got 3 slices of cake from bakerzin: oreo cheese, mango mousse and tiramisu. then at bout 9, jessel came to 1u with a very terrified-but-obeying ms tung eling who promised to shut her eyes as he smuggled us two into the car. after realising that it was just us two (and a supposingly suffocating ann in the small car boot, haha) we headed to our destination: little genting, cheras. and after much help from yoonie and the birthday girl's excellent map reading skills (who read the map ter-balik at one point taking us 5 minutes further) and my lack of estimation of a map's scale to the normal road and very tired eling's bf, we finally reached there after 3 whole hours =] the night drizzled away but it was a bundle of fun, the scenery was awesome.*curses* i forgot to take photos of the ppl who went, but i managed to capture shots of KL from my uber awesome hp *smirks*

hope you enjoyed yourself beeee, happy 20th bday

p.s. the perfect spot for couples mind you, haah! not bad yoonie, not baaad atta all. im sure "practical theory" loved it. dont kill me if you ever read this ok?!

oh inspirasiku yang terunggul

2008-03-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

kini

dahulu ataupun masa hadapanku? entah lah

betapa indahnya melihat sang suria membenam wajahnya di kaki langit

of chop suey and brain cell deaths

2008-03-09T01:24:00.000-08:00

applications for australia have been handed in
now all ive got is 3 more months of waiting
my biological clock is currently screwing with me
someone's being a real biatch
and making a fool outta herself
thinking that she is always right
and correcting everyone wrongly

LoL!

good for you! keep it up!

so i wouldnt have to feel so pissed
its bloody raining

something needs to come soon!!!

wherefore art thou?

BEACH HOLIDAY next week

*the elbow movee*

-yeeeeeeeeesss-

step up 2 must come and watch me

untitled

2008-02-29T18:20:00.001-08:00

a hawtie bad boy's downfall

2008-02-18T05:32:00.001-08:00

what can i say? i've always loved watching clips or movies of edison's. ever since when he was still a newbie in the whole movie industry. and i'm not gonna hide the fact that i do think that he is one asian hawtie alrite! but the main thing is, i've always believed that celebs are like any other ppl we know. they got their own private lives, and are entitled to do whatever they want with it. be it take drugs or well, do whatever which satisfies them? so i would like to say is that i think, what he did wouldnt be considered all wrong, as it was his/their decision to decide, yes? things just got.. well... shitty. as this fell in to the wrong hands and it was just his luck. so ppl, i know im jz one small lil ant-sized girl to the entire universe, but please.. you people have had your fun, so its time to let go and delete them pictures or videos and leave poor edison and the others alone ok? tenks, much love: xu

8 voci meravigliose

2008-02-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

this is the result of placing 8 comical heartthrobs with killer vocal skills in suits on stage

my paperthin heart ; ]

2008-02-15T18:24:00.000-08:00

qrstuVwxyz

2008-02-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

happy V day to all single people out there !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

muaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxx

songs for the broken hearted

2008-02-13T08:55:00.000-08:00

gong xi GONG Xi

2008-02-12T04:31:00.000-08:00

GONG HEI FATT CHOY !!!!!!!!!!!!

coooooooooooookies i made

not your usual CNY dish ;p

more like the result of your CNY dish
100% for presentation

best cendol in taiping
bismillah cendol: tambah pulut, tambah kacang

in memories of steve irwin, i have done my part: yummy string ray

o-chiiiieeeeeeen

my very own lil jay chou "wei wei" 3rd nephew

no chen, the spoon aint big enough! 2nd nephew

to stuff one more pizza in or not? kai? 1st nephew

7 hours of depression

ANGPAU more more more more

the "watching-s"

2008-02-03T23:36:00.001-08:00

Bleach

episode 90, i will strive till i reach episode 158!

is that even the end arh?

*yikes*

the watched

2008-02-03T22:28:00.000-08:00

a tribute to the few of the animes of which i love and have watched till the very last bit

ouran highschool host club

a screwball romantic comedy which focuses on the relationships within, with and without the Club; and satirizes the clichés and stereotypes that endure in series aimed at girls.

main characters are sooo HOT. hikaru hitachiin is worth checking out girls =]

rave master

need i expand more on this? i dont think so!

ayashi no ceres

for some reason, i've got a friend who refers to this as a downright porn anime! mana ada?! well it took me like 2 whole years to finish watching this anime as i had to search high and low for it for i missed it out when it was showing on axn =[ but with the wonders of youtube, twas possible! this is an anime which i hold very very close to my heart, dont ask why.

gensomaden saiyuki

to those who doesnt know gensomaden saiyuki should just go back into your tempurung you katak! ;p

slam DUNK

ahh my first anime =] i miss the basketball jocks..

italian cuisine anybody?

2008-02-01T19:54:00.000-08:00

my frittata cRaZeee !!!!! incase any of you were wondering what a fritata is, go Google it ;p

il mio bello magnifico

zucca, pancetta affumicata e parmigiano arrostiti

ahhhhh squisito....... oh la la ........

which "ring" of fire burns better?

2008-02-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

on the RIGHT hand side:

weighing as light as your primary school bumble-bee-themed 2B pencil;

ladies and gentlemen, may i present to you

BIG APPLE

and on the LEFT hand side:

the diet killer and a definite myocardial infarction precursor (forgive the half-eaten tiramisu)

J.Co

...

....

.....

..........

so who shall gain victory in this BATTLE?

...........................

.........................................

.............................................................

...............................................................................

well, the winner is BIG APPLE DONUTs of course

J.Co's just tooooooo creamy and sweet and cake-ish for my liking

*yucks*

all the same, donuts are fattening and unhealthy

and as dr. haresh says but i DONT quote from

" donuts are trans-fats, yoh! one year should only eat one donut!"

right sir... RIGHT ;p

owh man, im awfully late with the birthdays again

2008-01-21T07:43:00.000-08:00

weren't those times just the best? i wish it lasted forever...

to hann and jay elle, you two january babies,

happy belated birthday

both of you have touched my heart in many ways and held me up even on my darkest days

what would i have done without the two of you?

you two RAWK to the maxxx

*cuddles*

dwayne "the rock" johnson !!!!

2008-01-11T11:05:00.000-08:00

the movie was *eff-iiiiiiiiiing* GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

go catch it, it aint your everyday typical kinda predictable comedy thing

i was wrong myself, it was awesome !!!!!!!

the other soldier

2008-01-11T10:40:00.000-08:00

choeeeee's off to melb, but goldcoast first! choe, this is the best as it's gonna get in order for me to get you a plate of roti canai =p aiiih jiannie left, and soon karwai to aussie, rach soon to start at monash, ming hann back to spore, cheelynn exams at notts, and yvonne to usa. hhahha my latest hang out buddies all going back..... then i'll soon be seeing less of the [bb4L] babes..... i love my hols; and i hate going back to studies =[ but a scholar's gotta do what a scholar's gotta do *fullstop*

a lagging new year post

2008-01-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

i am proud to present to you this year's forsaken attendees present at ttdi's

well-known Dream Park

eLiNG and her darling

Jay eLLe and ham cHoy and ming the late barTendeR

anNe and anN (who was there with us mentally)

2007
2008 (1u's fireworks)

2008 (curve's lagging fireworks)

a round of drinks for a good year *cheers*

it certainly was a night to remember. be it the funny funny lil things the tipsy-s did and said or the agony of ending another year under the pouring rain (which actually felt good to be under). well, i had more new year sms-es than expected and as well as an unexpected call from jiannieee who laughed at me as he had shade from the pouring rain and claimed that i did not! i beg your pardon jianners but the i had shade as well! ;p

all in all, i had a good night despite the rehab

HaHa

Happy New Year People of the World

bring on them resolutions! bring it ON!

i hate myself for keeping you waiting ernie

2008-01-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

happy bday en-dong!

im so so so SOWEE for the delay in posting you a bday post.

well happy belated birthday anyways my dear mei-mei !

college and uni life has brought us apart and i dont get to talk to you as much as i really want to and im really sorry for that.

but please know that there is a place in my heart whereby you'll stay in always.

far in distance but close to heart?

i know ive let you down a few times when i couldnt make it for events planned.

sowee, please have a heart to forgive this silly ka che of yours.

lots of love, xu

once you go shiau, you never go back !

2007-12-26T08:24:00.000-08:00

the team player

the small eyed, not refering to hehn this time.
" siew dou kin ngar em kin ngan"
and so the saying goees

the wanted teddy bear.

friend! FRIEND!

the total spaaaaaaaaz.

omgeeee it's an orange f & n orange.

the harworking scholar.

lantern festival, so what? must study also.

the judge.

to cake or to meat, that is da question.

most importantly, the person who has touched my heart and helped me come out from my box of dark clouds when all i needed was just a helping hand. despite what occured in the past.... whether for good or for bad, you know the stories shiau dont you ;p *smirks*

thanks for everything shiau miau hiau

you da maaaaaan

who da man?

say his name!

say his nAME!

happy bday shiau

love lots, xu

tis the season to be jolly ! not horny ...

2007-12-25T10:11:00.001-08:00

merry xmas to all

once upon heaven's gate [genting]

2007-12-20T05:25:00.000-08:00

xu + anne - ann

eling "mummy" and "daddy" jessel

mister butterscotch with my "mohawk" hair do

like i said, heaven's gate =]

let the games begiiiiin !! the pros

"mummy" and "daddy" butt posing?

pinnochio's paradise : the heavenly carnival

hawt dog !!!

child abuse !!! hahaha, lovin' the expression eling

hungry for a xu sandwich anyone? teeheee..

the last glimpse

bye bye genting, i will be back once again in 5 years time

room re-VAMP-ed

2007-12-18T07:09:00.001-08:00

yes, "CLEAN GLUEE" LoLx

thats all you need: and a dash of creativity

==================================================

*yucccks*

*pResto!*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

borrrrrrriiiiiiing *yawn*

*ta-daaaaaaaa*

two more years till twenty-one iv

2007-12-18T06:02:00.000-08:00

mystically lovin' it
chic-en: the other sister

*[SJLXYEN]*

the best card ever! as well as Teedee; welcome to the family =]

*silence*

dont disturb teedee, he's writing ;p

two more years till twenty-one iii

2007-12-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

~*[bb4L]*~

lurveyougals4lyf

the babes brought me out for lunch at sakae sushi which was sooo guud, absolut satisfaction.

food was dlishcious, company was irreplaceable. and many stoned faces and eyes rolling scenes were replies to my usual comments, as always. it was all guud =]

then back to my crib for "drinks"

wasnt much of a hardcore drinking session for there wasnt much poison and it was still noon

eling "who was tipsy at that time" is so gonna kill me for this...

yeap she is ; p

two more years till twenty-one ii

2007-12-17T09:23:00.000-08:00

oHaNa-ness

lunch at carl's, SP-2 with my favourite 3 gals : the matron "mummy dearest" and the two evil knievils "sisters"

BEFORE

AFTER *burps*

rawking awesuum dinner at dragon-i with daddy and cake later

ma pimp-ed up cake y'all

the gingerbread construction begins now

*ends with.....*